


Letters from Wakanda

by RelentlassHuggerSquad



Category: Black Widow (Comics), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bucky needs a hug, F/M, Natasha Needs a Hug, Pen Pals, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-02-16 20:07:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 20,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18698293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RelentlassHuggerSquad/pseuds/RelentlassHuggerSquad
Summary: Bucky is trying to adapt to his new life, post-Captain America: Civil War, he’s living in Wakanda, getting help for his many issues. Still struggling, however, Steve suggests he get a pen-pal which leads Bucky to start corresponding with Natasha. He wants to know why she allowed him to escape, why she looks at him like she knew him in a past life. Natasha uses these letters as a way to vent about missions and face her own demons. They are both trying to heal, can they help each other?





	1. Chapter 1

Natasha Romanov had been many things in her life, a spy, a friend, an Avenger. Something she had never been, was a great writer. She wasn’t known for her long-winded prose or writing in diaries, Natasha didn’t even like filling out paperwork but she figured it was worth a shot. Steve Rogers had suggested that she start writing letters to people, he had advised her that it might help with the sleepless nights she had. 

 

Steve had been gone a lot lately, doing a lot of solo missions, though Natasha knew the truth. Steve had hidden his friend Bucky away somewhere safe and was checking on him frequently. Natasha was aware that Steve was worried about his friend, James Buchanan Barnes was a wild card these days. Bucky would continue to most likely be a wild card until he got the Hydra trigger words out of his mind. 

 

Sitting down at her desk, in one of the safehouse compounds Steve had located for his ragtag group of followers, she grabbed a piece of note paper and a pen. She wasn’t even sure what to write or that it would even provide comfort to Steve’s friend, but at least it would kill some time before her next mission. 

 

**‘Dear Barnes,**

**I don’t know why I am writing this. Perhaps, I’m writing it because I’m bored and out to try my hand at Steve’s method for cleansing my soul. He says writing my thoughts out will help, but I am not sure how safe my thoughts are. My inner thoughts would scare most people, though I doubt you scare easily.**

**We have met before, did you know that? You probably don’t remember it, and I guess it isn’t important in the end. But I have the scars to prove it, you’ve shot me a couple of times. I suppose people like you and me are always on a collision course, in our lines of work. Not like we were ever given much of a choice were we?**

**Steve’s worried about you, though he acts like he isn’t. He wants to protect you, he tries to protect everybody. It would be noble if it wasn’t so irritating to the people trying to protect him. I don’t know where you are, it’s for the best you do not share that info. I do hope this letter finds you well.**

**\- Natasha’**

 

Natasha put her pen down and sighed, already tempted to rip the letter up. It was a stupid idea to write letters, having to get in touch with her feelings and commit to writing them down just wasn’t in her playbook. 

 

A knock on her door drew her attention. She found herself staring at Sam Wilson, dressed in his gear. He looked surprised to see her at the desk but didn’t question it. 

 

“Cap says he has a lead on some old Hydra tech, wants our help,” Sam explained, hesitating for a moment, before leaving. He knew better than to stick around when Natasha was having personal time. It was such a rare occurrence that it unnerved him greatly.

 

Natasha rubbed her temples before she grabbed her gear. She had a feeling it was going to be a long night if Steve really had found a lead on Hydra tech. At least he had been channeling his energy into something productive rather than just sulking. 

 

She walked into the mission room, which was really just the kitchen with a whiteboard on the wall. Steve usually laid out the specifics of the mission on the board, it was low tech but Natasha kind of enjoyed it. 

 

“Sam tells me, you were writing a letter, is everything okay?” Steve asked, his gaze full of concern. Being that the three of them were currently on the run, outside communications were dangerous at best. “Were you sending it to Clint?”

 

Natasha arched a brow at Sam, not appreciating him ratting her out. “No, Clint is better off without me contacting him. He took a deal, he’s finally getting family time. I am not going to mess with that or jeopardize our operations either. It was just a stupid letter, I wasn’t going to send it.” Natasha said, squirming uncomfortably at the look Steve was giving her. 

 

“If not Clint, who were you writing too?” Steve knew Natasha well enough by now to tell that she was up to something. 

 

“Not that it matters, but it was to your friend, Barnes. You told me that writing out my thoughts would help, and so I wrote to him. I’ll probably just burn the letter.” Natasha was really starting to hope that Steve would just drop the subject so that they could move onto the mission at hand. 

 

Steve looked taken back. “You were writing to Bucky? Actually, that’s not a bad idea, writing letters can help him in his recovery. It could give him a sounding board. I can take the letter and give it to him.” Steve offered, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He had been worried about Bucky being in Wakanda all alone. Steve didn’t want Bucky to feel like he had just been shipped off there and abandoned. 

 

“Can we just focus on the mission right now? I’ll think about it, but we have pressing issues.” Natasha didn’t enjoy being put on the spot. 

 

Sam glanced between Steve and Nat and then let out a whistle. “Well, I’m going to make sure the jet has fuel. I’ll see you two out there.” He called over his shoulder, wanting to get away from the awkwardness that was developing. 

 

“I won’t press you anymore, I am just glad you’re taking my advice. I think writing the letters would be good for you. They’d be good for him too, seriously consider it Nat.” Steve encouraged, ignoring the unamused gleam in her eyes. 

 

“I thought you weren’t going to press anymore Steve?” Nat rolled her eyes and followed Sam out to the jet. 

 

Laughing, Steve followed after her. “Okay, starting now I won’t press.” 

 

“Somehow I doubt that.” Nat quipped back, thankful that the conversation was over for now at least. 

 

\-----

 

James Buchanan ‘Bucky’ Barnes still had not adjusted to the heat of Wakanda. It felt almost unbearably hot, but he refused to complain. Instead, he chose to just stay in his hut and focus on the tasks that the Princess Shuri had given him. 

 

King T’Challa had been kind enough to let Bucky stay, but Bucky didn’t want to wear out his welcome. So every day he would sit in his hut and practice the brain teasers that Shuri had given him. They were supposed to help him with rewiring and strengthing his memories. Bucky wasn’t sure if it was working yet, but he hoped he was making progress. 

 

He was working on a list of riddles that Shuri had given him when there was a knock on the door. Bucky rose to his feet and turned to find the King of Wakanda standing at his door. 

 

“King T’Challa,” Bucky said giving a slight bow. 

 

T’Challa cracked a smile and shook his head, before holding out an envelope. “As I’ve told you, we don’t do that here. I have a letter for you, your friend dropped it off.” 

 

Bucky was very confused but stepped forward to take the envelope from T’Challa. “I didn’t know Steve was around.” 

 

“He isn’t, he simply dropped it off and left.” T’Challa shrugged and looked to Okoye who accompanied him. “Did the Captain say anything about the letter?” 

 

His general shook her head. “No, the Captain did not.” She replied, glancing at Bucky. 

 

Much like the rest of the people of Wakanda, she did not trust the former Winter Soldier yet. However since T’Challa had given Bucky the freedom to stay, she had tried to be cordial to the foreigner. Though she had hoped if they were going to allow strangers into Wakanda, that it might include a Starbucks or something. 

 

“Well thank you for the letter.” Bucky watched the King and Okoye leave before he opened the letter. The first thing that struck him, was that the letter was not actually from Steve but from Steve’s friend Natasha. 

 

Bucky sat down on his cot, his eyes slowly traveling the page. He wasn’t sure why Natasha was writing to him, but he felt like it would be rude to not write a letter back. He was no stranger to pen pals, he had written a few letters back home during World War Two before he had been captured. Back then he had two arms and wasn’t forced to be a Soviet assassin. Things had changed a lot since the last great war. 

 

He figured this would help the time in Wakanda pass, it would distract him from the phantom pain from his missing limb. Besides what he had gathered from the letter was that Natasha knew something from his past, she had answered that he needed. Maybe Steve had been right, maybe it could be healing not just for Natasha but for him as well. He grabbed one of the pieces of paper Shuri had given him to write on, and began to compose a letter back to Nat. 

 

**‘Dear Natasha,**

**You can call me Bucky or James, you don’t have to refer to me as Barnes. I was surprised to receive your letter, but also thankful. You’re right about me not being able to reveal my location, it’s better that way for everybody. I do wish I had more people to talk to though, so it’s nice to hear from you.**

**I apologize for shooting you, I know I have a lot of things to make up for. I feel like my brain has been tossed into a blender over and over again. I have these dreams, most of the time I am not sure if they’re memories or nightmares. Perhaps they are a bit of both. You weren’t wrong about people like us being on a collision course. I am glad we didn’t kill each other, that would be unfortunate. I’d like to know more about our past encounters, I don’t remember them. It’d be nice to have some clarity.**

**This is going to sound like a weird request but are you any good at riddles? I’ve been trying to solve this riddle for a while now, but I can’t crack it.**

**A dog is tied to a rope that is 5 feet long. The dog’s food bowl is 20 feet away from the dog and yet the dog is still able to eat from his bowl. How is that possible?**

**If you know the answer can you let me know? I’ve been told that these brain teasers are supposed to help my brain recover. All they do is make my brain hurt.**

**I am sorry again for shooting you**

**\- Bucky’**

\-----

The mission to track down the Hydra equipment had taken longer than Natasha would have liked. Two extra days longer, which meant by the time she had made it back to the safe house, she was exhausted. She made her way into her room, dropping her gear near her desk. She was about to lay down, but something drew her attention. The letter she had written to Bucky was no longer on her desk. 

 

She walked back out of her room, to find Steve in the kitchen warming himself up some left-overs. He had gotten back sooner than she had because Natasha had been tasked with handing over two prisoners to Tony because he and Steve still weren’t talking. 

 

“Did you take my letter?” Natasha asked, trying to keep her voice calmed. 

 

Steve glanced at her and shrugged. “What letter?” 

 

Natasha’s eyes flashed in anger. “You know what letter Steve. The letter to Bucky, did you take it?” 

 

Sighing heavily, Steve nodded his head. “I did take it, I’m sorry. But I knew you’d just get rid of it. I think it’s good that you two talk to each other.” 

 

“That wasn’t your decision Steve.” Natasha was frustrated that Steve had done that without her permission. She knew how big his blind spot was when it came to Bucky, but it was still irritating. 

 

“I’m sorry Nat, truly. I just thought that having somebody to talk to, somebody that could understand would be good for the both of you.” Steve said, trying to defend his actions. He did feel guilty that he had betrayed her trust, he had acted impulsively. 

 

It was hard to stay angry at Steve, but Natasha still wasn’t pleased. “Stay out of my room next time. Oh and thanks for the food, I was starving” She called over her shoulder, as she stole his warmed up leftovers. She figured that was payback enough for what he had done.

 

Once she was back in her room, she locked her door and began to eat. She wondered if Bucky would even respond or if he would just think her letter was stupid and throw it away. Maybe it didn't matter, it was stupid to be hung up on it. If he wrote back great, if Bucky chose not to, then that was fine to Nat too. Or at the least, that was what she was telling herself. 

 

It made her think of Clint, she missed having a real friend she could talk to. Somebody to just talk to about her day and that would keep her confidence and not betray or compromise her. She didn't want to risk Clint's freedom though, so maybe talking to Bucky was the best alternative.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Nat continue to exchange letters and talk about their past and best friends.

Bucky tried to ignore the looks of mistrust that the citizens of Wakanda were giving him. It was still hot outside, but Bucky looked forward to the air conditioning in the palace. King T'Challa had summoned him to the palace, apparently, Steve had shown up and wanted an update on Bucky's condition. It took him a while to get from one end of the palace to the other, but eventually, he found Steve and T'Challa standing by a window and talking. 

 

"Steve, King T'Challa," Bucky said nodding to each of them in turn. He had missed his best friend a lot, he knew that Steve had lost a lot by standing by his side. Bucky had never meant to cause Steve that pain, but he was glad that his friend had his back.

 

Steve seemed to light up when he saw Bucky. "Hey, I am glad to see you. You're looking well, healthier even." Steve said though Bucky noticed his friend tried to avoid looking at his lack of a metal arm. Bucky tried to avoid looking at his body when he could, he didn't even remember how he got half the scars that covered his skin.

 

Shuri had promised that she'd fix Bucky's arm and give him a stronger one that wouldn't be as easily broken. Bucky tried to not be embarrassed about it, but he felt stupid walking around with the remnants of his old metal arm still attached.

 

"I am working on being healthier. Princess Shuri recommended yoga and meditation, to help strengthen my mind." Bucky cracked a smile and took a moment to look Steve over. His friend looked tired and stressed out, the breakup of the Avengers seemed to be weighing the soldier down. 

 

"A strong mind is a powerful tool, speaking of strong minds, I was wondering if you read Natasha's letter?" Steve knew that both of his friends had lived haunted lives, brainwashed and forced to be compliant against their wills. 

 

Bucky shifted uncomfortably. "Yeah, I did read her letter. I even wrote one back, but I am not sure I sent it. You know I shot her right? Multiple times, I hurt a lot of people, Steve, I am not sure there is any coming back from that." 

 

Steve looked to T'Challa, but the King of Wakanda held up his hands. He knew it was better for Steve and Bucky to sort themselves out their own way. "Don't look at me Captain Rogers, I fear I will be no help in this case," T'Challa said, excusing himself from the conversation. 

 

"Okay Buck, I won't lie to you, you did hurt a lot of people. Nobody is going to get through this life without getting their hands dirty. We all hurt people in our own ways, but this could be a chance to heal and make amends." Steve knew he couldn't force Bucky and Natasha to keep exchanging letters. 

 

"I don't want to hurt anybody else, Steve." Bucky hesitated, his mind once again spinning. "I think Natasha has answers to questions I haven't even asked yet. Maybe conversing with her will help me come to grips with everything that happened." 

 

Steve nodded in agreement. "I'll take the letter you wrote and give it to her. Maybe we can talk to Shuri and set up a secure way for you two to email back and forth." 

 

Bucky chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, but I fear I'd probably just as slow at typing." 

 

"I have no doubt that Shuri will come up with a solution to that problem as well. Maybe we'll give you a mic that you can speak into and it will put the words on the page that way." 

 

Bucky gave a half-hearted shrug. "Yeah maybe, the letters in my hut. Don't be alarmed if the people stare at you, you get used to it." He said, leading the way out of the palace. 

 

Steve was used to being stared at, so he didn’t pay any attention to Bucky’s words. “I bet Natasha would be glad to hear from you.” 

 

“I guess we’ll find out,” Bucky said with a soft sigh.

\---

Natasha had been on a recon mission for a few days, but she was thrilled to finally be home. She was sore and wanting nothing more than to sink into a hot bubble bath and relax. She walked to her room to grab a towel and some pajamas when she saw a white envelope on her bed. 

 

She grabbed the envelope, confused at first. She knew that Steve and Sam were on a mission still, they had left the day before. Natasha carried the note to the bathroom, surprised yet still excited to find that the letter was from Bucky. She felt relieved that he had actually written her back. Natasha had been a bit worried that Steve’s friend would have not been happy about the letter she sent. 

 

Reading the letter, she gave a soft hum as her eyes scanned the pages. She didn’t know the answer to his riddle but she figured a relaxing hot bath would help her think. She settled into the bathtub, laying her head against the back of it as she pondered over the riddle. 

 

Before she knew it, Natasha had fallen asleep in the bathtub. She had been so exhausted after her mission, she hadn’t really been able to sleep or relax during it. So it felt nice to be able to let her guard down in the safety of the safe house. 

 

When she woke up from her cat nap, she had thought of an answer to Bucky’s riddle. She got dressed in her pajamas and walked to her room to write him a letter back. 

 

**‘Dear Barnes,**

**I know you said I can call you Bucky or James, I promise I’ll work on it. For now, though, I think I’ll stick to Barnes. I was thinking about your riddle, and I think I know the answer to it. The riddle said a dog is tied to a rope that is 5 feet long. The dog’s food bowl is 20 feet away from the dog and yet the dog is still able to eat from his bowl. How is that possible?**

**It’s possible because the rope that the dog is tied too, is not tied to anything else. So the dog would still be able to reach its food.**

**I think sometimes I feel like the dog, tied to a rope, running around with the rope dragging on the ground. I had a mission this week, I can’t talk about it, but there were some civilian casualties. I felt so bad, I didn’t use to feel bad. But I hate seeing innocent people get hurt, I used to think of them as collateral damage, but now I see their faces when I go to sleep.**

**How’s the weather where you are, is it still hot? I am hoping it snows here soon. Steve says we have to move safe house locations, but so far I’ve enjoyed the one we’re at. It’s quiet and out of the way, it even has a nice little pond.**

**When I was growing up I always wanted to have a tire swing. I know that sounds strange, but I didn’t have much of a childhood. What about you, what was growing up like for you and Steve. Do you have any embarrassing stories?**

**\- Natasha’**

\---

It had taken some greasing of the palms, namely Shuri’s palms, but Bucky had been given an email address on a secure server where he could email with Natasha. It was only the two of them on the server, although Shuri had access to it. Shuri had said she only needed access in case Bucky tried to do something stupid like reveal Wakandan technology or something. 

 

Honestly, Bucky wasn’t even sure how to use the secret email thing, which had required Shuri to teach him. It had resulted in a few hours of frustration for both of them, but Bucky finally got the gist of it. He now owed the Princess a favor, but he didn’t have much to offer her, at least not at that moment. 

 

**‘Dear Natasha,**

**I hope this email thing works. Princess Shuri promised that we’d be able to communicate faster this way. She and Steve came up with a secure connection, though I honestly have no idea how she invents half the stuff she does.**

**I wanted to thank you for your assistance on the riddle, it turns out that was the right answer. The Princess thought I solved it on my own, so I suppose I owe you one. I still think Wakanda only has one temperature setting, but I am finally adapting to it. Yeah, I realize I just revealed where I am, but that should be okay considering Shuri has the connection encrypted.**

**If it makes you feel any better I am haunted by the faces of people I killed or hurt. I didn’t even have control over who lived and died sometimes. The mind controls sucks, but we have to live with our scars. They are what tells the story of our lives I suppose.**

**As for childhood memories, I have a few happy ones. Steve and I used to skip school and go see the different events happening in town. He loved going to the fair and riding all the different rides. He was a scrawny kid back then, sick more often than not, but he had the heart of a lion. I think that’s what makes him so great.**

**His loyalty is unmatched, he’s saved my life more than I’ve saved his life, but he never holds it against me. You can’t go wrong with having him by your side. Unless you ride the tilt-a-whirl, he may throw up on you. He threw up on his first date, he definitely did not get a second.**

**I hope you find some peace and a good night's rest. You deserve that Natasha.**

**I know it’s a strange thing to ask, but could you tell me about the first time we crossed paths. I am still struggling to know what’s real and what’s programming. If it’s too hard to talk about it, we don’t have too. It’s just the way you looked at me on the bridge and when you let me and Steve go, it triggered a memory.**

**\- Bucky.’**

\---

Natasha had been doing some paperwork when her laptop dinged with a message. She thought Steve had been joking when he talked about setting up a secure connection for her and Bucky to email back and forth on. Apparently, he hadn't been kidding though and Natasha found herself opening up an email from Bucky. 

 

She cracked a smile when he revealed that he was in Wakanda. She had guessed as much from all the trips that Steve had been taking to Africa. Natasha had snuck onto the quinjet and checked out the GPS, wanting to know where Steve was always flying off too. She blamed her nosiness on the fact that knowledge kept her alive and she preferred to know what her teammates were up too. 

 

The story Bucky sent about him and Steve at the fair made her laugh. She had funny stories about her and Clint, they hadn't grown up together, but he had always been the one person who she trusted when it came to hard times in life. He was the one first who made her feel like things were going to be okay. 

 

In a platonic way, they were soulmates, Natasha loved Clint and his family like her own. Clint's children were like her niece and nephews and she was willing to go to the ends of the earth for them. 

 

**'Dear Barnes,**

**Your story about Steve is funny, I've seen pictures of him before the serum and he looks so different. It's like his head was disproportionate to his body. I agree with you about his loyalty, he is insanely loyal almost to a fault. He doesn't like to leave people behind even when it endangers the mission.**

**I have a friend like that, he sees past all the bad and the darkness in me, and still tries to bring out the good. I am lucky to have his friendship and I hope one day I'll be able to wipe out all the red in my ledger. I want to be able to make amends for past mistakes. I can't change the past but I can work towards a better future.**

**Our paths have crossed before Barnes. I was protecting a target and you shot him through me, you've got good aim I must admit. They used to joke that you were a ghost, but for a ghost your bullets were real. You don't need to be sorry about shooting me Barnes, I've shot enough people myself. We do what we have to, to survive.**

**Do the words Red Room mean anything to you? That's where I was trained, I remember hearing stories about the Winter Soldier. I just didn't know you were real until you killed the man I was supposed to protect. What do you remember of your time with Hydra?**

**What do you do for fun in Wakanda? I've heard it's a beautiful place, King T'Challa was speaking about the beautiful sunrises there. I hope to someday see it, whenever I'm on a mission I like to watch the sun rise and set, it makes me feel human. Because no matter where you are, it's a reminder of time passing.**

**I don't know if writing these letters will actually lead to emotional healing, but I'm glad I get to talk to you, Barnes. I think we're all searching for some kind of normalcy in an ever-changing world.**

**Until next time,**

**Natasha'**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge shout-out to everybody who has been reading, bookmarking, subscribing, and leaving kudos on this story. I appreciate every single hit and comment. I already have some ideas for later chapters rolling around in my head. Be sure to keep an eye out for my other works. I may have some other stories coming out in the future for WinterWidow
> 
> \- RHS


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is Natasha flirting? Maybe a little ;)

“Try to clench your fist, Sergeant Barnes.” 

 

Bucky was tired, sweaty and frustrated, which only served to put him in a foul mood. Being told what to do by Princess Shuri, didn’t normally tick him off, but today his patience had run out. She had been trying to outfit him with a new metal arm, except that she was intent on running every test in the book, and he was in pain. 

 

“I need a break,” Bucky said, panting as he tried to close his fist. He had an apple in his hand and Shuri had been trying to get him to grip it tight enough to squish it. 

 

“We are almost done Sergeant Barnes, now keep squeezing,” Shuri instructed, scribbling notes down on her journal. She wanted to make sure the arm was perfect and that Bucky could have complete control over it. 

 

Bucky tried his best, but his hand was shaking and the apple eventually popped out of his grip. He watched as it fell to the floor with a thud and rolled away from him. His anger and frustration seemed to be boiling up and then using his good hand, he swiped at all the wires connecting him to the various machines. 

 

Shuri frowned but said nothing as Bucky ripped the wires off. Her royal guards tensed, but she held up a hand to signal them to stay back. Shuri waited patiently until Bucky was done with his tantrum before she tilted her head. 

 

“Are you done, did throwing a fit make you feel better?”

 

Bucky scowled but slowly nodded. “I’m sorry, I am just frustrated.” 

 

Shuri approached him slowly and began to detach the wires he had missed, helping him remove the metal arm. “To conquer frustration, one must remain intensely focused on the outcome, not the obstacles.”

 

“You’re like a fortune cookie aren’t you.” Bucky knew his frustrations didn’t lay solely with his arm. He hadn’t been sleeping well, Natasha’s question about the Red Room had triggered some waking nightmares. 

 

“I have never been called that before, but I’ll take it.” Shuri placed the heavy metal limb on the table and turned to face Bucky. “Do you want me to call one of the doctors to give you a physical? I know I’ve been pushing you hard, but you seem to be in more pain than normal.” 

 

Bucky waved her off, not wanting to concern the princess. “I’ll be fine, I think I just need to clear my head. I am sorry about losing my temper.” 

 

Shuri laughed quietly. “You are not the first man to lose his temper in my lab. If it was a crime, the King would be in shackles many times over.” She joked, knowing T’Challa had lost his own temper countless times. “Go for a walk, we can finish the calibrations for the prosthetic later.”

 

Bucky gave a thankful glance, before making his way back to his hut. He sat down at the desk, deciding to finally reply to Natasha’s message. He had waited a few days since her last message, wanting to compose himself before he tried to write the letter. It was still hard for him to be vulnerable, especially about his past. 

 

**‘Dear Natasha,**

**I’ve been thinking a lot about your last letter, I am sorry it took me so long to respond. I found myself struggling to organize my thoughts, so that’s what caused the delay. After you mentioned the Red Room, I began having weird dreams, that seemed more like nightmares I guess it was like a trigger word or something, but in my nightmares, I was constantly fighting people. I saw ballerinas murdering diplomats and people letting me into rooms to finish the job.**

**There was lots of blood, but I supposed that’s to be expected when you’re the hired gun of Hydra. I don’t think it is the blood that bothers me now, but the screams, the feeling of being so detached from everything that it didn’t even phase me.**

**I assume Hydra used a bunch of torture techniques to disorient you and make you obedient. I wasn’t the only Winter Soldier, they did train others. Used them and then discarded them all the same. Was your training an offshoot of mine, I wish I could take down some of the old Hydra agents myself. Steve mentioned you were still hunting the remaining members.**

**Princess Shuri is outfitting me with a new metal arm, made of the same material as Steve’s shield. I am not sure if I told you that already, I am sorry. The days seem to be bleeding together lately. Maybe if Shuri finishes fixing the whole Hydra programming in my brain and my arm, I could go on missions with Steve again. I know it’s important that I hide out right now, but it feels like a prison sometimes.**

**They’ve taken to calling me the White Wolf, it’s better than being called the Winter Soldier. It sounds cooler at least. I hope your days are going better than mine. You asked me what fun things there are to do here in Wakanda, I enjoy going for walks. It’s beautiful here.**

**\- Bucky’**

 

\----

Natasha had thought when Bucky had taken a few days to respond that perhaps she had upset him. She hadn’t meant to of course, but she was relieved never the less when she got a notification of an email from Bucky. Sitting down at her desk, she decided to take a break from her daily yoga session, it was important to stay flexible and nimble in her profession.

 

She read over Bucky’s email, taking a deep breath and trying to release some of the stress she had been carrying. She felt bad for him, her intentions in bringing up the Red Room was never to cause him nightmares. She had enough of her own to deal with, and she felt guilty for causing him more pain. 

 

**  
‘Dear Barnes,**

**I am sorry again, I didn’t mean to cause you any nightmares. I think we’re all haunted enough as it is, I didn’t bring to drag more ghosts out of your closet. I know what you mean about being detached, I lived in that state of indifference for so long, I think I forgot how to care. At least until I met Clint, he taught me how to be a human again.**

**Maybe we all need a reminder of how to be human again, Lord knows it’s been a long time since we were allowed to be. Going for a walk in Wakanda sounds like heaven, I imagine it is peaceful there. T’Challa mentioned some of the festivals they have, I think I’d like to experience it for myself. I would like to see T’Challa again, and I know Steve misses you.**

**How is your arm feeling? Do you prefer to have it fixed or do you not like having the metal arm? Given the choice would you choose to completely get rid of it, have a regular prosthetic arm instead of a high tech metal one?**

**I know Steve might be coming to visit you soon, maybe I’ll come with him. It’d be nice to see you, and you can show me the cool places. I need a vacation and it sounds like you need a distraction from the ‘prison’**

**Hey at least you’re getting a cool nickname, White Wolf sounds awesome. They still call me Black Widow, I guess because they still realize I’m dangerous. I may not look like a threat but I am if you get within range.**

**Try to get some rest, Barnes. You’re tougher than you look, just keep moving forward even if it’s only a little bit at a time. Focus on the small accomplishments and soon you’ll realize just how much progress you made.**

**\- Natasha.”**

 

\----

 

Bucky hadn’t expected to get a response so quickly and on the same day. He had figured it would take her a few hours at least to get back to him, but she had replied less than an hour after his message. Anxiety gripped him at first, making him wonder if the reason she had responded so quickly was that she was angry. Either that or she had been waiting for his reply, which heightened his anxiety even more. 

 

He forced himself to take a few deep breaths, walking around his little hut before he sat down to read what she had written. Bucky was relieved that Natasha didn’t seem angry or resentful if anything she just seemed glad to hear from him. 

**‘Dear Natasha,**

**Steve and you coming to visit actually sounds nice. If you can work out the logistics with King T’Challa and Princess Shuri, then I would be more than happy to see you both. A distraction would be really useful right about now. To answer your question honestly, my shoulder is still hurting. The nerve endings around my shoulder and chest hurt, Shuri had to remove the old pieces of the metal arm from my skin.**

**I’ve been through a lot since Steve first saved me during the battle of the Triskelion, but I have to say Shuri cutting into my chest and shoulder ranks among the top pain. She has been very helpful though with clearing my mind of the trigger words Hydra implanted. It’s been a slow process but we’re finally making more noticeable headway.**

**I can see why they would code name you the Black Widow, beautiful but deadly. I wouldn’t want to be on your bad side, I have a feeling you could hold your own in a fight. I’ll be hopeful that my new moniker will grow on me.**

**T’Challa might be putting me to work soon, he says I can help patrol along the borders. He might be testing my allegiance to Wakana, but after his issue with his cousin, he wants to see who will remain loyal. I don’t blame him, I am just thankful for the opportunity. It’s better than staying in my hut all day or only going to Shuri’s lab.**

**Before I can take that job, I need to learn how to use the new arm they’re making for me. I have to go back to the lab in the next couple of days and practice. How have your missions been going, I know it’s classified, but if there is anything you can share I’d love to hear it. It makes me feel like I’m part of the team when I hear about what you all are up too.**

**Shuri told me a joke today, maybe you’ll find it funny. ‘Two guys walk into a bar, you’d think the second one would have seen it.’**

**Anyways I should get some sleep, I am going to sound like an old man, but I need a nap. Shuri’s tests have me extremely fatigued.**

**It was good talking to you Natasha, it makes me feel almost normal. Have a good night sleep when you go, and try not to have any bad dreams. Those suck.**

**\- Bucky’**


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha goes on vacation to see Bucky.

“Nat? Nat come in, do you have a visual on the target?” 

 

Natasha could hear the nerves in Steve’s voice. They had been tracking this particular Hydra target for a few weeks now. Every time they thought they had located him, the Hydra agent would somehow escape their grasp. They had finally managed to locate him in France, Steve, Sam, and Nat had been in Paris for over a week, tracking the man’s movements. 

 

“Yeah, I see him,” Nat said, taking a sip of her coffee. She had been sitting at the local cafe, watching the target who was seated across the courtyard. “He seems to be alone, no company, just eating his breakfast. 

 

“Alright Sam, keep your eye in the sky, I’m going in,” Steve announced over their comms. 

 

Natasha watched the target, focusing on the way Steve seemed to appear out of nowhere and take the suspect in. The missions lately had become pretty routine and she was growing bored of it. Natasha did like having different adventures and experience different things. 

 

“Target apprehended,” Steve announced calmly. 

 

“Guys, you want to know what I was thinking? We need a vacation,” Nat replied, linking up with Steve to help the Captain take their target to a waiting officer. 

 

Steve chuckled and nodded his agreement. “We could use a vacation, what do you think Sammy?” 

 

Sam who had flown down from his overwatch position, fell in step with his friends. “A vacation sounds good, where are we going? Hawaii, Monaco, maybe Wakanda?” 

 

Steve looked to Natasha, watching the way she stiffened just slightly. “I think that sounds like a good idea. Who knows, maybe we’ll run into Bucky. How is that friendship going?” Steve asked, wiggling his eyebrows playfully at Natasha. 

 

“I know what you’re hinting at Steve. I will have you know our friendship is going well. Bucky is really easy to talk to.” Natasha was thankful she wasn’t blushing, she knew Steve would never let her live it down. 

 

“I would tease you about possibly having a crush on Bucky, but I feel like you could take me down still.” Sam knew it wasn’t a good idea to push Natasha’s buttons. 

 

Natasha smirked. “Good thinking Sammy. I could always beat you in a fight.”

\---

 

Bucky caught off guard by Steve’s arrival, he had been doing some of the meditation exercises when one of T’Challa’s soldiers had told him to report to the castle. Bucky had quickly donned a shirt and all but jogged to the castle. T’Challa didn’t tend to summon him unless it was some sort of emergency. 

 

By the time he reached the throne room, he was sweaty and looking a bit disheveled. He burst in and gave a respectful dip of his head. “Your Majesty.” 

 

T’Challa looked amused. “Mr. Barnes, you have company.” 

 

“Looking good Bucky.” Sam joked, a coy smile on his face. 

 

Bucky flushed a deep red once he realized that Steve, Sam, and Natasha were all in the room standing by T’Challa’s guards. 

 

Steve gave Sam a disapproving look but smiled at Bucky. “It’s good to see you again Buck, I missed you. You remember Sam, and of course, you know Natasha.” 

 

Natasha stepped forward and held out a hand to Bucky. “You look a lot happier than the last time we saw you,” Natasha said, trying her best not to sound awkward. 

 

Bucky and Natasha didn’t seem to know how to act around each other. They had spent most of their free time behind the letters, so being face to face again felt different. 

 

“You look happier too. Are you doing well?” Bucky asked Natasha, completely disregarding Sam and Steve for a moment. 

 

“I think we’re chopped liver now,” Sam muttered to Steve, who lightly punched Sam’s arm and shushed him. 

 

A slow smile spread across Nat’s features. “I am doing well, we were on a mission and decided to stop for a little vacation.” 

 

Bucky knew they had talked about Natasha visiting, but he had thought of it in a more abstract way. He hadn’t truly expected her to come and visit, he was glad to see her, however. “I am glad you came here then.” 

 

T’Challa was watching them, rolling his eyes skyward. “Sergeant Barnes, why don’t you show Ms. Romanov around Wakanda. The farmer’s market is about to start. You can show her the different booths.” 

 

Bucky nodded his head. “Of course, thank you King T’Challa. Follow me, Natasha,” he said, leading the way out of the throne room. 

 

“You know, he used to be a lot better with the ladies. I think he’s lost his edge.” Steve commented once Bucky and Natasha were out of the room. He found it kind of amusing since Bucky would always rag on him for not being a ladies man.

 

Sam chuckled at that. “Romanov is enough to intimidate and scare any man out of his game plan.” 

 

“The White Wolf is just warming up, you will see,” T’Challa said, confident about Bucky’s ability to potentially woo Natasha. 

 

\---

 

“I don’t know what I pictured as a Wakandan farmers’ market, but this is pretty cool,” Natasha commented as she looked around. There were various stalls and food carts, selling different things. It had been a long time since Natasha had been able to go to an event like this and not be working. 

 

“They actually have a lot of tasty fruit here. Some fruit I had never even heard of until I got here. They’re living the good life here. In Wakanda, poverty is almost non-existent. They share what they have and they take care of each other.” Bucky explained, buying two plums from one of the vendors. 

 

The kind elderly vendor woman, who recognized Bucky, gave him an extra plum and a little wink. Bucky smiled politely and then offered one of the plums to Natasha, for her to try it. 

 

Natasha bit into the juicy plum and gave a soft moan of delight at the taste. “This is actually really good.” 

 

Bucky laughed at her reaction and nodded in agreement as he began to eat his own plum. “I like it too.” 

 

The duo walked together for a bit, Bucky would occasionally point out the different stalls and the people that he recognized. They soon found themselves in comfortable silence, just walking along the streets of Wakanda. 

 

For Natasha it was normally hard to relax in a crowded environment, she preferred to be able to see everything and know who was around her. She didn’t like people brushing up against her, but she found herself able to relax a tiny bit due to Bucky’s presence. 

 

"What are they doing over there?" Natasha asked, pointing to a group of children who were huddled around a fountain. 

 

"Making wishes. People throw their coins in and then once a month all the change is collected and donated to feeding those less fortunate." Bucky explained, remembering he had asked the same question when he got to Wakanda. 

 

Natasha fished around in her pocket and came up with two Euros. "Here one for you and one for me. Let's make a wish." She suggested, knowing how silly she sounded. 

 

Bucky gave her a quizzical look but took the coin. "Let's do it." He followed her over to the fountain. He closed his eyes, thinking for a moment about what he wanted his wish to be. He then threw the coin in the fountain. 

 

Natasha was more cautious, wanting to think of the perfect thing to wish for. She wasn't usually a believer in luck or that sort of thing, but she figured it was worth a shot. She made her wish, before tossing the coin into the fountain. 

 

"That was actually kind of fun." Bucky mused, falling in step with Natasha as they walked.

 

Natasha smiled up at him, before looking back at the crowd. "How is the training with Shuri going?"

 

Bucky's smile seemed to dim a bit, his expression becoming a little more guarded. He absentmindedly rubbed at his metal arm, thinking back to his lesson with Shuri the day before. Shuri had him practicing hand-to-hand combat, he had been terrified that he might hurt the princess. Which turned out not to be true, because Shuri had totally out-maneuvered him and thoroughly kicked his butt. 

 

"Some days are easier than others," Bucky admitted, slowly meeting her gaze. "Some days it feels like I will never get past the mental blocks that Hydra installed in my brain. I want to be better." 

 

"You are better Barnes, you are doing so well. I know what you mean, but don't count yourself out. Progress is still progress." Natasha encouraged, trying to help him feel better. 

 

Bucky gave her a thankful nod, growing quiet for a few moments. It was different having Natasha here in front of him, rather than communicating through the letters. With the letters, he had time to think about what he wanted to say, now he felt like he was going to mess everything up. 

 

“Can I see your cabin?” Natasha asked, breaking the silence. 

 

Bucky’s eyes snapped to hers, and he gave her a questioning look. “You want to see my hut?” 

 

Slowly she nodded. “You’ve talked about it a lot, and I just want to see it. I promise no funny business.” 

 

“I didn’t think there would be any funny business,” Bucky mumbled, the tips of his ears turning pink with embarrassment. It wasn’t like he hadn’t thought of Natasha in a romantic sense, but she still seemed very off limits. 

 

Natasha laughed and rolled her eyes. “Sure Barnes.” 

 

Somewhat reluctantly, Bucky led the way to his hut. “It’s not much, but it’s home. You’ll have to excuse the mess.” Bucky warned. 

 

“I have seen a lot messier places, Barnes,” Natasha said, taking a look around the hut. It was organized enough with a bed, a desk, and a little love-seat couch. “I like it, it’s quaint.” 

 

“Is that the nice way of saying it’s small and packed with stuff?”

 

A playful smirked stretched across Natasha’s features. “Maybe a little bit.”

 

Natasha seemed to finally notice that on Bucky’s desk was all of her letters, neatly arranged. It seemed to be the only thing that was relatively tidy in the hut. The letters look well-worn like they had been read more than a couple of times.

 

“You reread the letters?” She asked curiously. 

 

Bucky nodded, feeling a bit embarrassed. “It makes me feel normal when things get hard.” 

 

Natasha could relate to that, she had often reread his letters after stressful missions. It gave her some peace and allowed her mind to go elsewhere after the trying things she had to go through.

 

“I reread the letters you send me too. It is nice to have somebody to talk too.” Natasha admitted, before sitting down on the love-seat couch. 

 

“Do you maybe want to split the last plum?” Bucky asked, sitting next to her. 

 

“I think I’d like that.” 

 

Bucky studied her features for a moment, before breaking the last plum in half. He gave her the larger half with a small smile. 

 

“You’re too sweet for your own good Barnes,” Natasha noted, taking her half and biting into it. She couldn’t recall the last time somebody other than Clint had been that kind to her. It gave her a weird giddy feeling in the pit of her stomach, which she quickly tried to push down. 

 

Natasha wanted to enjoy her vacation with Bucky, she didn’t want to try and label her feelings. She knew from experience that labels and feelings could be dangerous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know this is a departure from the normal letters. I promise I will get back to them, but every now and again, I want to see them in the same place. It makes their awkward interactions all the more fun. It's easy to flirt from a distance but in person, they kind of suck at it.


	5. Chapter 5

Bucky woke up to an unfamiliar weight on his chest and a mouthful of red hair. He carefully moved his head away, wincing at the stiffness in his neck. Apparently, he and Natasha had fallen asleep on his couch. The Soviet assassin was still asleep or at least Bucky thought she was, but the second he started to move away, Natasha did as well. 

 

Tired eyes met his own, as she gave a yawn. “Sorry I fell asleep on you.” 

 

Bucky gave a half-hearted shrug. “It’s okay, I fell asleep too.” It was then that he realized they weren’t alone.

 

Steve was leaning against the doorframe, a knowing smile on his face. Steve sipped from a coffee mug and arched a brow. “Late night guys?” 

 

Natasha rolled her eyes and stood up. “No, we actually spent the night talking.” 

 

“Is that what they call it nowadays?” Steve chuckled, teasing them before he walked out of Bucky’s hut. 

 

“You know, sometimes I really want to punch him,” Bucky muttered, shaking his head. 

 

“Join the club Barnes, join the club,” Natasha said, giving him a small smile. 

 

Bucky snorted softly. “I invited the club, way back in the nineteen-thirties.” He joked, before yawning himself. He stood to his feet and stretched out, letting out a satisfied groan as his back popped. 

 

“You okay there Barnes?” Natasha asked, giving him a once-over. 

 

“I’ll be fine, my back is just hurting a little bit,” Bucky explained, before tilting his head to the side. “How long are you guys going to be in Wakanda?” 

 

Natasha shrugged. “I hope a little while longer, but I’m not sure. If we get a mission, we have to go.” 

 

Bucky nodded his understanding, he knew how those type of things worked. “Well, I’ve had fun hanging out with you.” 

 

“Me too, it’s been nice to just be normal for once. I think this is the most relaxed I’ve been in a long time, but it’s so peaceful it’s almost unnerving.” Natasha knew he’d understand what she meant. Being in danger and going on missions was her comfort area, relaxing and being on vacation felt foreign and unnatural. 

 

“That’s how I felt once Princess Shuri allowed me out of the lab. Being here is amazing but at times it almost felt like a prison too. It’s freedom but I don’t really feel free, because I can’t leave Wakanda. I’m still an outsider.” Bucky shrugged again, unsure of how else to explain it. 

 

Natasha stared at him for a long moment, before she leaned up to press a featherlight kiss to his cheek. “Us outsiders need to stick together.” She said, a warm smile crossing her features before she walked in the direction Steve had gone. Pausing at the doorway, she called over her shoulder, “I’m going to go see what Steve is doing, but I’ll catch up with you later. That’s a promise.” 

 

It took the women some time to catch up with Steve who was engaged in a deep conversation with Sam and T’Challa. “What’s the news, boys?” 

 

Sam gave her an uneasy look. “We may be having to cut our vacation a little short. We received a call from Wanda. It seems like she and Vision might be in a little bit of trouble.” 

 

Natasha frowned. “What kind of trouble?” 

 

“The international kind,” Steve mumbled shaking his head. “Sam and I could probably handle it…” He trailed off. 

 

“No, no. I’ll come with you. You guys would be lost without me. The vacation was fun, let me say goodbye to Barnes and we can go.” Natasha said, not wanting to leave without saying goodbye. If it had been anybody else, she probably would have, but she didn’t want to do that to Bucky. 

 

She found Bucky getting dressed, the former assassin seemed to be struggling with his shirt. Natasha chuckled quietly and walked over to help him. She met his gaze, as she carefully buttoned his shirt. 

 

“You leaving?” Bucky asked quietly, he had a feeling by the look on her face that she was. He tried not to let his disappointment get the better of him. He had been enjoying the quality time, but he also didn’t want to ruin whatever was going on between them. 

 

Natasha gave a single nod of her head. “Yeah, we need to go check on a friend.” 

 

Bucky wanted to tell her to be safe, but he knew Steve would already keep an eye on her. “Well, go check on your friend. Write me a letter and tell me all about it?” 

 

“You know I will.” Natasha gave his good hand a gentle squeeze, before pulling away. “It really was nice getting to hang out with you Barnes. It made me feel almost normal.” 

 

“I feel the same.” Bucky cleared his throat, wondering when he had gotten so horrible at goodbyes. “I’ll be waiting for your message.” He watched her go, staring at the door long after she had gone. 

\---

Natasha was unusually quiet on the quinjet, it had taken Steve and Sam some time to find Vision and Wanda’s location. Natasha had been the one sent to extract them from an old safe house that Fury had kept up. She had escorted them back to the quinjet and then taken her spot at the helm to fly them home. 

 

“So Steve said you guys were in Wakanda. Did anything interesting happen?” Wanda asked as she sat down in the co-pilot seat, next to Natasha. 

 

Natasha stole a glance at her out of the corner of her eye. “Not really, mostly ate a plum.” 

 

Wanda stared at her, studying Natasha in a way that made her squirm. “You look different, new hairstyle?” 

 

Crinkling her nose, Natasha scoffed. “No, I don’t. I haven’t done anything new with my hair, but I was thinking about going blonde.” 

 

“That’s not it, you look...happy. Happy like when I connected with Vision.” Wanda said, a smile breaking out. 

 

Natasha’s grip tightened on the controls, she didn’t care much for discussing her personal life. “If you’re asking if I am seeing anybody the answer is no.” 

 

“Would you see somebody if you could?” Wanda asked. 

 

Taking a deep and calming breath, Natasha shook her head. “I don’t think in our line of work those types of things work out. I’m better on my own, most guys don’t want damaged goods or somebody who has a lot of messy baggage.” 

 

Wanda didn’t look like she believed Natasha for a single second. “Everybody is damaged, Natasha. It’s a matter of finding people who have broken pieces that fit with our broken pieces. It makes the most beautiful picture, or at least that is what Vis tells me.” 

 

Natasha’s thoughts flashed back to Bucky, they did have a lot in common. However, the last time she had tried to pursue a relationship with somebody, Banner had flown off into the sunset and left her behind. Bucky may have had similar broken pieces, but she didn’t know if she could make herself vulnerable enough to allow him that close. He had already gotten a lot closer than most people. 

 

“Shut up Wanda, I don’t want to talk about it. Besides, you need to tell me how you got into trouble with the German government again.” Natasha muttered, changing the subject.

 

The rest of the flight went well when they made it back to one of their new secret safe houses, Natasha claimed a room farther from the others. She had a lot of thinking that she wanted to do, and she usually did her best thinking by herself. 

 

**  
'Dear Barnes,**

**Thank you for showing me around Wakanda. I had a lot of fun hanging out with you, I think sometimes we get so caught up in life, that we forget how to have fun. I don't know about you, but I never had much of a childhood, attachments were frowned upon in the Red Room. If you had an attachment often times you had to destroy it, whether it be a pet, a friend or a favorite book. I think that's why now in life I find it hard to form those attachments.**

**We put up those walls to keep people out, but we also lock ourselves in. We make ourselves prisoners, denying ourselves true happiness out of fear of being compromised. However lately I've found that those attachments are what save us, like a lifeline. They are the reason we keep going, the thing that protects us from going over the edge.**

**I guess what I'm trying to say, and don't make a big deal out of it, but I think I've grown attached to you. Attached to the letters that we send to each other. It's the only thing that feels real sometimes. As stupid as it sounds, it helps me cope.**

**Until the next letter,**

**\- Natasha'**


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky misses Nat, and Natasha gets an unexpected visit from somebody she doesn't want to see.

It was stupid to be giddy and excited, but Bucky couldn't help it. He had been disappointed when Natasha had to leave Wakanda early, but the letter he had received more than made up for it. She had told him in the letter not to make a big deal of her being attached to him and the letters they sent, but it was hard not too. 

 

Bucky, of course, would never want to embarrass Natasha, but he felt excited. He had felt a connection brewing between both of them, and he felt equally as attached. He wasn't sure where that left the two of them, but he was fine just allowing it to be without putting any labels on it. 

 

Feeling close to somebody again, felt like a step in the right direction for Bucky. He had spent so long being a mindless assassin, that having the ability to choose for himself was almost scary. It was also exhilarating because if he wanted too, he could pursue Natasha. He could offer to take her on a date and it would be their choice on what happened, there wouldn't be some overlords dictating their future. 

 

"What has got you so smiley Sergeant Barnes?" Shuri asked as she appeared at the entrance to his hut. The Princess was there for their usual sessions, where she would help him process through the different memories and compartmentalize them. 

 

Bucky hadn't heard Shuri's approach and so she startled him. He realized he had been too lost in thinking about Natasha and her letter that he had allowed himself to lose track of his surroundings. He folded Natasha's letter and stuck it in his back pocket, before turning his full attention to Shuri. 

 

"I am just in a good mood, I feel like I am making progress," Bucky answered, not wanting to reveal anything too deeply personal. Shuri had a tendency to overanalyze him and Bucky wasn't a big fan of it. "It's just a really good day." He added, giving a small smile.

 

Shuri didn't look like she believed him, but seeing Bucky being happy was such a rarity, that the Princess of Wakanda decided not to prod him further on the matter. "Well, I am glad you're in a good mood. My brother thinks it is time you start earning your keep. Do you think you would be up to doing some border patrols?" 

 

The question gave Bucky some pause. "Do you think I'm ready? What if something goes wrong, I don't want to hurt any of your people." Bucky wasn't sure of himself, he trusted that Shuri had gotten rid of most of his Hydra trigger words, but he was still scared. 

 

Shuri's gaze softened, she had seen the same look that Bucky wore, in her brother's eyes once. "You do not have to be afraid of hurting my people. They are more likely to take you out than you taking them out." Shuri said, trying to make him feel better. 

 

"I guess it is worth a shot. I'll never know if I have gotten better if I don't try." Bucky took a deep breath and nodded. "Let me get dressed and I'll be ready to go on patrols." 

 

"Sounds good Sergeant Barnes, oh and by the way..." Shuri gave him a once over. "Whatever or whoever is helping make you happy, don't lose sight of it. It's refreshing to see you smile White Wolf." She gave him a nod, before leaving Bucky alone in his hut. 

 

Bucky pulled Natasha's letter back out of his pocket, a small smile on his face. "I'm going to try not to lose sight of it," Bucky mumbled, tracing his fingers over Natasha's words. He read it again, his smile only growing wider.

\---

“Nat you got a letter!” Wanda called, carrying the letter to her older teammate. 

 

Natasha poked her head out of her friend and reached for the letter but Wanda moved back at the last second. “What are you doing?” Natasha was a bit confused. 

 

“Last time you were this excited about a letter you were still hung up on Banner.” Wanda pointed out, wanting to take a moment and capture a mental image of a happy Natasha.

 

Natasha’s eyes narrowed slightly but the look was enough to get Wanda to hand over the letter. Bruce Banner was a sensitive subject for Natasha and not one that she particularly enjoyed talking about. 

 

“Come on Nat, you know I didn’t mean anything bad by it. I’m just happy that you’re happy.” Wanda said, before leaving the former Russian spy by herself. 

 

Natasha watched her go, before settling down on her bed to read Bucky’s letter. As much as she enjoyed the emails they sent to each other, getting a physical letter still meant a lot to her. She felt like it was more personal, and as she opened the envelope she realized she could smell his cologne faintly. 

 

It had been over a week since she had seen Bucky last, and she had missed him. Sure they had exchanged a few simple emails, but they had been far to busy to engage in any real conversation. Natasha and the rest of the group had been running missions because there had been chatter about an attack happening soon. However, Bucky seemed to be making up for their lost time, because his letter was sweeter than usual. 

 

**'Dear Natasha,**

**I know what you said, not to make a big deal out of you possibly growing attached. I just want you to know that I feel attached to you too, you aren't alone in those feelings. I figured it was only fair if I leveled the playing field and was as open as you've been. We aren't the type of people who willingly expose weaknesses, but I don't see this as a weakness. I see it as a strength, it's been a long time since I felt anything remotely like this. I am glad it's you, for whatever it is worth.**

**You are something special Natasha, you are vibrant and beautiful. You have walls up and rightfully so, but I look forward to being let in. I am not going to try and knock the walls down Natasha, I'm willing to wait until you feel comfortable enough to let me in.**

**I hope your friends are doing well, the ones that you had to go rescue. T'Challa actually appointed me to one of his border guard positions, so I've been getting more exercise. I think it's good for me to stay busy, Shuri has been running tests but she thinks that I'm making a lot of progress.**

**Having you to write the letters to, helps. I am not just saying that. I'm happy to have somebody to write too, somebody who kind of understands all the weird stuff I've been through. Hopefully, you and Steve get to come back and visit soon, or maybe T'Challa will allow me to go on a mission of my own. I'd have to be careful though, last time I checked I was still a wanted fugitive. Steve had mentioned that if I cut my hair, fewer people would recognize me, what do you think? Should I cut my hair, Nat?**

**I would send you a plum if I could, but I don't think it would stay fresh in the mail. Maybe I'll convince Steve to help me out and have him get you one for me. It's not the same, but it might have to do.**

**Your truly attached soldier,**

**\- Bucky'**

 

Natasha read the letter a couple of times, a silly smile crossing her features. She felt ridiculous because she couldn't stop smiling and couldn't get her cheeks to stop burning. Quickly she was pulled out of the moment from a knock on the door. 

 

"Nat, it's me. I need to talk to you, it's important." Steve said, sounding unusually serious. 

 

Walking over to the door, she opened it to find Steve looking distressed. Natasha took in the look on his face, concern welling up inside of her. "Is everything okay? What's the matter, is it Bucky?" Natasha questioned, fear making her blood run cold. 

 

Steve slowly shook his head. "It's not Bucky, it's Banner. He showed up here, he's spooked Nat, something about a guy named Thanos coming." 

 

Natasha leaned against the doorframe, willing her knees not to give out on her. "Bruce is here?" She asked, her voice cracking. She hadn't seen Banner in close to two years. 

 

"Yes, he's in the other room. He wants to talk to you." Steve said uncomfortably with the whole situation. He knew about Natasha's past with Bruce. "Do you want me to bring him to you?"

 

"That's probably not the wisest idea. I'll go see him, figure out who the Thanos guy he's talking about is." Natasha felt like she was suffering from emotional whiplash. She had gone from happiness with Bucky, to complete dread at the prospect of having to see Bruce again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yes, Letters from Wakanda is going to deal with Infinity War and End Game, but fear not, I do promise a happy ending.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha talks with Bruce and learns about Thanos.

Natasha wasn't sure what she was going to do when she found herself face to face with Bruce Banner. It had been close to two years now and it was strange to be in the same place. She had thought that maybe she would punch him, she was angry at him for leaving but now that she saw him, she felt strangely hollow. 

 

Surely she had cared for him, she had let him in but then just like everybody else he had cut and run. Unlike how her and Bucky's broken pieces fit together, Bruce's broken pieces only served to cut her. 

 

"Hey, Nat." 

 

Even the way he said her name felt like nails grating on a chalkboard, but she ignored it. "Bruce." She replied evenly, fighting to keep her control. 

 

"You look good," Bruce said, before awkwardly looking away from her. 

 

At one point in time, she might have found that action endearing but now all it did was grind on her nerves. "Why are you here Bruce? Steve mentioned something about a guy named Thanos." 

 

If it was possible, the mention of Thanos' name had Bruce look even more fragile and shaken. "He's coming here Natasha, he's coming to destroy us all," Bruce said, before explaining what had happened on the ship. He spared no details, his words chilling Natasha's bones as she learned about how Thanos had decimated the Asgardians.

 

For the first time, Natasha seemed to realize that more than just Steve and Sam were in the room. Wanda and Vision had made themselves present. 

 

"Should we alert Tony?" Natasha asked looking to Steven. She knew how tense everything was, but Tony would be their best bet against an invading force like the one that Bruce was describing to them. 

 

Steve didn't look all that thrilled at having to talk to Tony again, but Steve was also a soldier through and through. "Yeah we should probably call him, I doubt he'll want to hear from me." 

 

"I can call him." Natasha offered, not wanting the two team leader to get into an argument again. If they were going to stand a chance against Thanos, they needed to pull all of their pettiness and hurt aside. "You should go call T'Challa and Bucky. We may end up needing their help." 

 

“Okay, that’s probably a better idea,” Steve said, giving a small nod. He was eager to get out of the way, the bad blood was still evident.

 

Nat gave him a wary look, wondering if the friendship between Tony and Steve was even reconcilable. She hoped it was, but she also wanted to protect Bucky and keep him away from Tony in case the billionaire was still angry. She felt for Tony’s loss, she really did, but Bucky had been mind controlled and she didn’t think he should have to suffer for the crimes of Hydra. 

 

Natasha walked away from the group and after hesitating for a moment she called Tony. He sounded confused by her call, even angry at her still for choosing Cap’s side. At the very least he heard her out, though she figured that was due to Pepper being nearby. She could always count on Pepper Potts to have her back and talk some sense into Tony. He finally agreed to come to the Avenger's facility and meet up with them on more neutral territory. As far as Natasha knew, Steve, Sam, and the others were still wanted by a lot of the different world governments. 

 

After the phone call was done, Natasha was ready to find Steve and let him know what Tony had said, but it was Bruce she ran into first. Bruce hesitantly reached out to grab her arm, but Natasha took a step back and gave him a wary glance. 

 

"Do you have a moment to talk?" 

 

Natasha stared at him, trying to read his expression. "I guess I have a moment, what did you want to talk about?" She asked, although she already had a feeling. Bruce had always been easy to read, he wore his emotions on his sleeve. 

 

"Us, I am sorry for how we ended things. I wanted to tell you that...I am sorry Nat. I am sorry for running away and not coming back sooner." Bruce said, again reaching for her hand. 

 

"Bruce...I would like to be friends, but nothing more than friends." Natasha said cutting right to the chase. She wasn't going to lead him on and give him false hope when there wasn't any hope to be had. "I've moved on." 

 

Bruce looked confused, even a little hurt, but he forced a smile. "Of course you have. Well, they must be a lucky person, I hope it works out." He said, before awkwardly clearing his throat and making some excuse about being needed in the lab. 

 

Natasha didn't say anything else, she just watched him go. She wished there was a softer way she could have let him down, but she had never been all that adept at being soft and kind towards people. It just wasn't in her nature to have to soften her words or comments. 

\---

-In Wakanda-

 

Bucky was getting used to being summoned to King T’Challa’s throne room. He felt like he was summoned there at least three times a week for various things. He gave a nod of his head as he entered the room, surprised to find Steve on a sort of screen. 

 

“What’s going on? Is everything okay, is Nat okay?” Bucky asked, feeling ill at ease from the look on Steve’s face. 

 

Steve grimaced, his appearance crackling on the screen. “Natasha is fine for now, but we got trouble, Buck. Something big is coming and it’s not going to end well.” 

 

“The Captain was telling me that a monster of a man, named Thanos is coming,” T’Challa said, trying to bring Bucky up to speed on the briefing. 

 

Bucky frowned at the name, he didn’t know anybody called Thanos. “Well if the guy wants a fight he’ll have one. I’m willing to fight.” Bucky offered. 

 

“I am glad you feel that way because we need all the help we can get. We’re bringing Vision to Wakanda in hopes that their technology can extract the mind stone from him.” Steve sounded apprehensive and a bit nervous. He had fought countless people, but the thing with creatures from Space still put him on edge. 

 

“We can take him, and I am sure Princess Shuri can help Vision.” Bucky had learned not to underestimate Shuri. 

 

“One last thing Buck, Tony is coming. So maybe try and stay away from him, I don’t want a repeat of the last time.” Steve didn’t want to have to fight Tony again. Being pitted against his friends had caused Steve to many sleepless nights. 

 

Bucky chuckled a bit bitterly under his breath. “I’ll stay away from him. Is Natasha coming?” 

 

“Yes, I’ll be there,” Natasha said as she came into view of the screen. “I would never miss a fight.” 

 

Bucky smiled in relief at the sight of her. “I wouldn’t expect you to miss the fight. We’re going to need you if we want to win.” 

 

“Good to know I’m appreciated,” Natasha said with a wink. 

 

T’Challa watched the two flirt before rolling his eyes. “We will expect your visit soon Captain, Ms. Romanov.” He said, before ending the call. 

 

Bucky gave him a curious look, but T'Challa just waved him off. "What was that about?" 

 

"Your heart eyes with Ms. Romanov aren't going to become a distraction are they white wolf?" T'Challa asked, curious as to how Bucky was going to respond. 

 

"I don't have heart eyes, and even if I did, I would still be focused on the mission," Bucky interjected, wanting to prove that no matter his personal attachments, he was a soldier through and through. 

 

T'Challa didn't look like he believed him in the slightest but merely smiled. "You should go get some rest. Once your friends get here, the real battle begins. I'd advise sleeping while you can." 

 

Bucky nodded, giving another polite nod. "I could use a quick nap." He had been out on border patrol when he received his summing, so he was a bit tired. "I'll see you later than King T'Challa."


	8. Chapter eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The battle for Wakanda and the snap

**‘Dear Bucky,**

**War and chaos are inevitable, it’s one of those strange things I suppose. I don’t know why I am writing you this letter, I am going to see you in a few minutes anyway. I just don’t know how much time we’ll have before everything goes down.**

**Barnes, I’m not what you would call a sentimental type of person. As I’ve told you I’ve learned a long time ago not to get attached to things or people. They only let you down and hurt you in the end. I think I broke that rule by getting attached to you.**

**I need you to know something, just on the off chance something happens to one of us during the battle. I want you to know that I care, I care about you and what happens. Exchanging letters with you, getting to know the real you has been good for me. I’ve been so shut off and emotionally closed down for such a long time that I don’t think I ever knew how to have an emotionally healthy relationship. If we are being honest, I probably still don’t, but I am learning.**

**I am learning to take time and enjoy the small things. You might not know this Barnes, but you’ve taught me a lot in our correspondence. You taught me to take in every single moment and enjoy it to the best of my ability. I suppose when you’ve had your mind thrown into a blender, you learn to appreciate everything like you’re seeing it for the first time again.**

**Thank you for being you and thank you for letting me in and helping me open up. I do believe this is what it feels like to be happy. There, I said it, I am happy. I am happy with you.**

**\- Natasha’**

Crinkling her nose as she read over the paper, Natasha gave a heavy sigh. She wasn’t used to being so open, even with Bucky. That was the thing though, despite all her training and upbringing that was screaming at her not to let him in, Natasha found that she wanted to let him close. She wanted to think about simple and domestic things with Bucky. The more letters that they exchange and the more time they spent together, the harder she felt herself falling for him. 

 

Of course, she wasn’t about to reveal her whole hand to Bucky, she had to keep some of her cards close to her chest. That was why she wanted to crumple up the letter she had just written and throw it away before he saw it. She didn’t want to allow him to see just how much of a softy she was. 

 

She could hear Steve from the cockpit talking to the air traffic controllers in Wakanda about landing the Quinjet. Wanda was shifting in the seat next to Natasha, the powered hero was having a hard time sitting still. 

 

“Vision will be okay,” Natasha whispered softly to her, knowing that Wanda was worried about Thanos stealing the stone from Vision. 

 

There was a piece of Natasha that was worried she would one day become overprotective of Bucky the way that Wanda was over Vision. She tried not to think about it too much though, she didn’t trust that Wanda hadn’t somehow gained the ability to read her mind. Natasha was wary of her friend’s powers, though she did appreciate their uses. 

 

When the jet finally did land, Natasha was the last one off the ramp. Her eyes immediately sought out Bucky, though she gave T’Challa a hug first. 

 

“You look good,” James commented, clearing his throat as he took in the sight of Natasha. It felt like it had been far too long since he had seen her in person, even though it had been a few weeks at best. 

 

Natasha smiled, studying the soft smile on his face. She wanted to commit everything to memory just in case. “You look good as well, healthy, maybe even a little tan.” 

 

The soldier laughed and nodded. “I have been going on more patrols so I assume I would be tan from all the direct sunlight. T’Challa has been keeping me on my toes.” 

 

“Good thing I have, it appears we are going to be in need of your skillset Barnes,” T’Challa said before he motioned for the assembled group of heroes to follow him. 

 

Natasha allowed the others to walk on ahead of her before she fell into step with James. Though they refrained from speaking as T'Challa, Steve and Tony took the leads, explaining the different battle tactics, Natasha let her hand brush against Bucky's metal hand. 

 

James tensed and started to move to be on her other side so that she could hold his good hand, but she gave a subtle shake of her head. 

 

"You don't have to do that. I know what I am doing." Natasha promised softly, not caring about the feel of the cool metal as she laced her fingers with his. 

 

Bucky frowned, wanting to point out that he couldn't feel her touch if she was holding that hand. But then she gave him a smile, that seemed to melt away and disarm his worries. 

 

The pair attempted to focus on what Steve and the others were saying. T'Challa kept mentioning how they needed to divide into groups and have some people protecting Vision, while the others held the front lines. 

 

"I am more of a frontline fighter myself," Natasha commented under her breath to Bucky. 

 

"What a coincidence, so am I." James teased, lightly nudging her. 

 

Natasha merely smiled at him, leaning ever so slightly against his side. If anybody else noticed how comfortable the two were acting with each other, nobody said anything. 

 

"If any of you have any questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to ask. My sister Shuri will be willing to help outfit your gear with the latest tech. Sergeant Barnes, will you assist my sister?" T'Challa asked, finally drawing attention to Bucky. 

 

"Of course." James gave Natasha's hand one last squeeze before letting go to go and assist Shuri with what she needed. 

 

Natasha immediately felt colder without Bucky next to her, but she wasn't alone for long as Steve and Tony made their way over to talk with her. "Everything good boys?" 

 

"Yes, actually I think Tony and I have reached an understanding." Steve mused before he nodded to where Bucky was leaving with Shuri. "Are you two going to be alright fighting side by side?" 

 

"They're a thing? Well, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised." Tony mumbled, hating that he was the last to know. "Well, I am sure Natasha can put aside her personal feelings and get the job done. Lord knows I am having too." 

 

Natasha could sense that there were still some things that needed to be worked out, but she was glad for the moment that her friends weren't fighting. "We'll have to squash our issues later. Right now we have a mad man to defeat." Natasha said, trying to keep them motivated and focused. 

 

"There is always a mad man of some kind." Tony rolled his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose in irritation. "Anyways I should go see about helping T'Challa with his tech." 

 

After he left, Natasha turned to look at Steve. "He still hates you doesn't he?" 

 

"Probably, but at least we're talking. How are things with Bucky?" Steve asked, turning the conversation back around to her. 

 

A very coy smile wormed its way across Natasha's features. "They are good. He's a good guy." 

 

"He seems happier," Steve said, arching a brow. 

 

"I know I am. It was a good idea for us to talk and write letters. It feels like the right thing to do." Natasha said, not wanting to reveal too much about the relationship to Steve. She didn't think that he needed to know everything that was going on. 

 

Natasha eventually found her way down to Princess Shuri's lab, listening as the girl was explaining some upgrades she had made to Rhodey and Sam's different armor. Bucky was of course help, but his version of helping was making fun of Sam and keeping people from getting too close to the princess. 

 

"Didn't take you for much of a babysitter." Natasha teased him playfully. 

 

The corner of Bucky's lips twitched into a small smile. "Don't let Shuri hear you say that. If anything she's the one who babysits me, she at least allows me to feel useful." 

 

Natasha gave him a once over before laughing. "I am sure you have many uses, James. I'll just have to figure out what they are." 

 

Bucky gave her a dirty look out of the corner of his eyes. "Don't you have any other things to do than tease me while I'm trying to work?" 

 

"What's the fun in being good?" Natasha winked at him, before laughing again. It was safe to say that she was having a lot more fun than she should. Messing with Bucky and getting him to blush was quickly becoming her favorite past time. He was always trying to act polite and chivalrous, but there was a darker side of him itching to come out. She could tell, which was why she found it so fun to push his buttons. She wanted to see what would make him finally crack. 

 

Her game was interrupted when an alarm went off on Shuri's computer. A frown settled on the Wakandan woman's features and she looked to Bucky. "You and your friends need to go and join my brother now." 

 

Bucky nodded and ushered Natasha and everybody back to where T'Challa and Steve were waiting to give last minute instructions. Natasha caught Bucky's hand at the last second and pulled him back. 

 

"Before we go out there to beat Thanos, I have something for you," Natasha said, handing him the letter she had written. "Don't read it now, it's stupid. I was feeling oddly reflective." 

 

The soldier looked confused by the letter but put it in his pocket. "Are you getting soft on me Natasha?" 

 

Natasha rolled her eyes. "Don't make a big deal out it, and don't die out there. I'd hate to have to say goodbye. Don't laugh at me" She whined when Bucky started to chuckle. 

 

"I am not laughing at you. I just think that you are getting soft, I like this side of you. It's really attractive." Bucky was amused by the sudden burst of tenderness. 

 

Grumbling under her breath, Natasha grabbed two handfuls of Bucky's shirt and tugged him down. She kissed him hard, trying to convey how she felt without actually having to say anything. She honestly believed that actions spoke louder than words anyway. She kissed him until they were forced apart to hungrily gulp in air. 

 

Bucky started to say something, but Natasha quickly pressed two fingers to his lips and shook her head. "Don't ruin it with words Barnes, just trust that I know." She whispered, before brushing past a very flustered Bucky to join in on the war council. 

 

When the battle finally started Natasha had tried to not be to close to Bucky. She didn't want for them to end up distracting each other, but somehow they kept finding each other on the field. Even when she couldn't see him, it felt like she could feel his presence on the battlefield. 

 

The pair kept finding each other on the battlefield, like when one of Thanos' outriders had Natasha pinned and was trying to go for her throat, Bucky had managed to shoot him off from a far distance. Or when Bucky and Rocket were getting swarmed by a pack of the outriders, Natasha had managed to distract a few long enough for Bucky and Rocket to escape. Bucky, of course, has given her a charming smile before rushing off to face more. 

 

Natasha finally lost track of Bucky when she went to help Okoye and Wanda. She heard over the comms that he was going to help Steve, so she figured he would be okay. Natasha had gotten so lost in the heat of battle, that her blood lust had taken over. She fought through the crowd, running to help Steve when Thanos appeared on the battlefield. 

 

Neither Bucky nor Natasha had ever fought somebody like Thanos. Natasha had never witnessed a person hold off the Avengers like the mad titan was. Anger coursed through her when Thanos easily threw Bucky against a tree like a rag doll. She tried to run at Thanos but he backhanded her just as easily. 

 

For a moment everything felt surreal, Natasha had thought that the battle was over when Thor came and launched his weapon into Thanos' chest. However, horror gripped her as the purple-freak managed to snap his fingers. An icy feeling hit her as she watched her friend begin to fade away, turning into dust and then drifting away on the Wakandan breeze. 

 

"What is happening?" Natasha questioned, trying to grab onto Sam only for him to fall to dust in her hands. Terror gripped her as she began to search for Bucky. 

 

"Natasha?"

 

Natasha turned, to see Bucky stumbling towards her and Steve. Bucky had a sort of traumatized look on his face, like he was staring straight at her but seeing right through her. "Steve?" 

 

She swore her heart shattered as Bucky fell to his knees and then collapsed into dust. Natasha wanted to run to him, but it felt like her feet were nailed to the ground. "What just happened?" She questioned, her voice shaking. 

 

Steve had a broken look in his eyes. "I think we just lost."

 

"Where did he go? Steve, you tell me where he went." Natasha screamed, charging at Thanos. 

 

Thanos clenched his fist, teleporting himself away from the revenge-driven Russian. Natasha fell to the ground, she didn't even have the energy to lift herself back up. She felt emotionally drained and horrified, unsure of how to process what had happened. She barely felt Steve pick her up and cradle her, he seemed just as shell shocked as she was. 

 

"I need him, Steve, I need to bring him back." 

 

Steve just gave her a sad look. "I know Nat, I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yes, I know you're probably mad at me right now. I Thanos-snapped your happiness away. I'm sorry. Please forgive me, it won't be angsty forever. There is going to be some angst but there will be happiness again.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter deals with End Game and the time jump. If you know what happens with Natasha, then that is addressed in this chapter. Be forewarned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter deals with End Game, if you haven't seen it then do not read this chapter. I repeat if you have not seen End Game, do not read this chapter. It's angsty and dark and sad. But I promise this isn't the end for our duo.

**"Dear James.**

**I don't even know where to begin writing this letter. I don't even know why I am writing this letter honestly. I have no idea how to bring you back or anybody else for that matter. Half the population is gone, just like Thanos said. There is so much looting, so much loss. I honestly don't know why this is all happening. It feels bleak James. It's been a week now, and I think everybody is finally coming to terms with how much we have actually lost. It seems like every place is in ruins, those of us that are left, are trying to pick up the pieces.**

**Crazy fanatics say that the rapture happened, other people think it was an act of God. I don't believe Thanos to be a God. He took you from me if anything he is a devil. Steve isn't coping very well either, he finally found you to lose you again. I know how that feels, he's throwing himself into stabilizing the different governments.**

**I always knew the world could be dark and lonely Bucky. I just never knew it would be this bad. It's unfair, I finally kiss you and then this happens. I wonder if the Gods have it out for me. Can it be that this is some kind of torture tactic? Honestly, I wonder if I ever truly escaped the Red Room, maybe this is just another torture scenario. Maybe none of this is actually real.**

**Things are bad James. I hope where ever you are that I find a way to bring you back. I'm not sure I could be able to handle it if I couldn't.**

**\- Natasha"**

**\---  
'Dear James, **

**Eight months, it's been eight months and things still suck. People are finally leaving their homes, but trash has piled up on the sidewalks. Tony refuses to help, the heroes that have remained have either struck out on their own or have all split up to try and keep order across the globe.**

**I didn't ask for this James, I am not built for this. Kids dying on the street, homeless and alone. I've tried to take care of as many of them as I could. I've tried to organize and help people. I've watched people and children die in my arms.**

**I am not sure how much longer I can keep this up. Steve is still struggling, but he's as determined as ever. He's going to those meetings again. I think he does it so he won't end up drunk again. The three months after you were gone, he drank so much. It's not fair James, not fair that everybody is falling apart and I have to be the glue to keep them together.**

**When did I become the adult in this situation, the responsible ones? Why did you have to go, I finally was happy and it got ripped away. Why does my happiness always get ripped away? This isn't fair, but I suppose life has never been fair. At least not when you're Russian.**

**I'm angry that you left me. I am angry that you got selected and now I am by myself, having to bandage everybody else's hurts when my own pain feels like a bleeding gunshot wound. James, I feel like I am dying here and nobody seems to notice or care.**

**I don't think this pain will end.**

**\- Natasha'**

**\---  
'Dear James, **

**I haven't written to you in a while, I was angry. You can't really blame me for being angry, I still am. It doesn't matter, I just wanted to tell you that you ruined me.**

**You've been gone for two years James, two years! Steve finally got himself back on track, Thor is a mess still but that's to be expected. I am lost still, I run a few different agencies so that helps. I reunited kids who lost their parents, with parents who lost their kids.**

**There is this little boy, he has your eyes. It hurts to look at him, but I can't help it. I made sure he got a good home. His mother was taken in the snap and he's been living on the streets. The lady that took him in will make sure he goes to bed with a full stomach. Seeing him made me feel sad though.**

**I am still so angry, but I am not the only one. Clint has been on a mission killing different bad guys. I think he feels that will somehow bring back his family. There are times I want to join him, but it won't make a difference. No amount of trying to even the scales will bring you back. I wish it would because it would all be worth it.**

**I wonder if anybody else feels this way. You ruined me, James, I tried to go on a date, Steve said I should try and move on. The guy tried to kiss me and I almost broke his arm. I don't want some guy James, I want you and you're gone. Like everybody else I've ever cared for, you aren't here anymore and I'm left alone to pick up the shattered pieces.**

**That's what I get for letting people in and loving them.  
\- Natasha'  
\----  
'Dear James, **

**It's been almost four years. I've finally got to the point where you don't haunt my dreams. I spend more time trying to save the others that are still around. It's like society is finally starting to move on.**

**It sucks though because no matter how far I push you out of my mind, you always linger on the edges. I miss you, I miss what we could have been. Thanos got out of it easy. Nobody is okay, I like to think that those who got dusted got the better end of the deal. They don't have to deal with the pain of living in a world devoid of their loved ones.**

**I am not okay Bucky, I haven't been okay in years. I guess that's my new normal. Grief is a wicked thing, it sucks the wind out of your lungs and still expects you to keep moving forward.**

**I miss you, I miss you so much.**

**\- Natasha'**

\----

"Are you writing to him again? I thought you didn't do that any longer?" 

 

Natasha looked up from her paper, her eyes narrowing in on Steve who was at the entrance to her room. "I don't do it often anymore, but yeah. I don't know why I do it, it's been five years. He isn't coming back." 

 

Steve held up his hands, signifying that he wasn't judging her. "I write to him sometimes too. I know what it's like to lose him, it seems like a never-ending cycle. I find him only for him to be taken from me again." 

 

Natasha gave a watery smile and wiped her eyes. "Maybe he doesn't want us to come after him." The dim light in the room, seem to cast them both in weird glows and shadows. It was a good representation of their moods. 

 

"You know that's not true. If he had his way, he'd be with you in a heartbeat." Steve pointed out, wanting to try and make her feel better. He knew that Bucky had really started to fall for Natasha. 

 

"It feels empty without him. Our friends are either gone or so screwed up they don't even know how to cope." Natasha said, thinking about Tony and Clint. Their friends were suffering and locking themselves away in their own little delusions. 

 

"Well, then it's time we try and bring them back," Steve said, his voice resolute. "I haven't given up hope." 

 

Natasha let out a bitter laugh. "You're probably the only one who hasn't." 

 

Steve walked further into her room and knelt down before her. "Nat I need you to believe with me. I will find a way to bring them home, we can't give up." His tone was bordering on pleading. He needed Natasha to fight with him. 

 

Sighing heavily, Natasha shrugged. "If we are going to try and find a way, we're going to need everybody on the same page." 

 

"We should start with Clint." Steve knew that Nat was the best option for bringing Clint back into the fold. Natasha was probably the only one that the archer was going to listen to anyways. 

\----

Finding Clint was a lot harder than Natasha was expecting, even with all of the Avengers tech, it was hard to track him down. It was clear that Clint didn't want to be found, but after a few weeks of tracking down possible leads, she found him in Japan. He had just murdered a crime lord, the rain outside making Clint seemed crazed and off the rails. 

 

"You don't have to keep doing this." 

 

Clint stiffened at the sound of her voice. "Leave me alone Natasha."

 

"It's been five years, killing people won't bring your family back." Natasha knew her words were harsh, but she needed Clint to snap out of it and help her. 

 

The archer assassin looked furious. He surged forward pinning Natasha by the throat against the concrete wall. For a moment, Natasha was struck by how empty her best friend looked. It was as though Clint had been baptized by his grief and had emerged a broken man. 

 

Natasha met his gaze, not even trying to fight against his grip. She recalled almost a decade prior when they had founded the Avengers. She had come to save Clint, she had learned to work as a team to save his life. 

 

"You don't have to do this, but I won't stop you." Natasha finally managed to breathe out. It didn't bother her if Clint killed her, it wouldn't have made a difference. Most of the people she cared about were gone anyways. "We're trying to find a way to save them." 

 

Clint's eyes darkened but slowly he moved his arm away from her throat, allowing Natasha to breathe freely. He stared at her like he was finally seeing her for the first time without a fog of grief blocking him. "Nat?" 

 

"I am here Clint, I'm here." Natasha sighed softly and took his hand, pulling him into a hug. She felt him break down against her chest and did her best to keep herself strong. She had been fighting for the past five years to make sure everybody else was okay, that was her job. Aside from her letters to Bucky, she couldn't allow herself to feel. Natasha didn't know how she was going to save Bucky and everybody else, but she was going to find a way. 

\---  
 **'Dear James,**

**If you're reading this, it means we won. We actually found a way to bring everybody back. I know the first thing you'll do is probably be looking for me. You shouldn't, I won't be there. Clint and Steve they don't understand, they won't understand, but I do. Steve made the sacrifice play to send a stone away. I am going to make the sacrifice play to get a stone back, to get you back.**

**I couldn't ask Clint to do it. He has a family, a wife. He is my best friend and he deserves better than that. You deserve to have a life where you can be happy. Yeah, I get that it sucks, because I won't be there, but you can still find love. This was always going to be my end game Bucky.**

**Ever since I started writing you back in Wakanda, I felt happy. I got attached to you, but happiness doesn't stick around for somebody like me. It never has, it's just not who I am. I told Loki once that I had red in my ledger and this is how I wipe it out. I bring back the people who were lost, I save you.**

**The most selfless thing I can do is to bring you and everybody back and give you a do-over to be happy. Please take care of Steve and Clint for me. I know they'll take care of you.**

**If you found this letter, it means you or somebody else went snooping in my room. Be the hero I know you can be James. Don't let anybody else ever define your role. You could be a hero if you want or just a regular person. Our time however brief it was meant everything to me.**

**I really think we could have been something special. Maybe in another life.**

**Love always  
\- Natasha' **


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky deals with the aftermath of the reverse-snap and being Natasha-less.

Bucky had always known that war was costly and that freedom isn't truly free. There was always a price to pay and in the 1940s, he had been willing to pay any price. Almost eighty years later, he wasn’t sure that could still be said about him anymore. Bucky felt like he had constantly paid the price over the years. 

 

He had lost his arm, his memories, his brain had been thrown into a blender and he had been mind-controlled. He had been framed for crimes that he hadn’t committed, forced to commit crimes and hurt people he cared about. 

 

All of the pain he had gone through however paled in comparison to knowing that Natasha had killed herself for him. She had died to bring him back, to bring everybody back. 

 

Five long years she had fought to bring him back and yet to Bucky it felt like no time had passed due to the snap. Bucky, of course, had fought in the battle when everybody was brought back, even still he had kept an eye on the battlefield looking for Natasha. 

 

It had finally been a teary-eyed Clint who pulled him aside and told him the truth. Bucky had wanted to be angry at Clint, had wanted to punch him, but he could see that Natasha’s death had caused the archer just as much pain. 

 

Bucky found himself in Natasha’s room, quietly sifting through the letters she had written him over the five years. Everybody was still grieving over their losses, but it was Bucky who had shut himself in. He didn’t want to be around anybody, all he wanted to do was be with Natasha. 

 

He was rereading her last letter, getting angrier and angrier at the fact that she thought he’d just move on. He didn’t want to move on, he wanted to be with Natasha. So much had been taken from him and Bucky was angry at the world. 

 

A knock on the door drew his attention. Shuri was standing there, shifting awkwardly until she leaned against the doorframe. “We’re going back to Wakanda soon, do you want to be on the jet?” 

 

Bucky shrugged, seemingly deflating as he lay back down on Natasha’s bed. “I don’t know what to do Shuri. Five years have passed and for what?” Bucky already knew Steve’s plan to leave and once again Bucky felt like he’d be alone. 

 

“You miss her.” Shuri’s words were more of a statement than a question. “If you come back to Wakanda, we’ll find a way to bring her back.” 

 

“I got told that if we bring her back, it would undo her sacrifice.” Bucky pointed out, thinking bitterly back to what Bruce had said. Bucky didn’t like Bruce much, he thought that he was a bit of a tool. 

 

Shuri wrinkled her brow, giving Bucky a look. “No offense to the person that told you that, but they’re wrong. I will help you find a way to save her, but you have to come back to Wakanda.” Shuri had learned about the Pym particles from Okoye and was already working on some research of her own to replicate them. 

 

“Do you think we can really bring her back?” Bucky didn’t want to put his faith in something and then be utterly disappointed. He finally sat up, a glimmer of hope rising in him, but he was scared to let it grow. He trusted Shuri more than he trusted a lot of the other people around them. Steve and Natasha were the only people he trusted more. 

 

“I will do my best,” Shuri promised him, her eyes taking on a determined glint.

 

Bucky crossed the room and hugged his friend tightly. “Thank you, Shuri.” During his stay in Wakanda, he felt like he had really made friends with the Princess.

 

Shuri squirmed a bit uncomfortably and awkwardly patted his back. “You’re welcome, not please put me down, Barnes. We have work to do.” 

 

Setting the Princess of Wakanda down very carefully, Bucky gave an apologetic smile. “Sorry about that, I got excited.” 

\---

**'Dear Natasha,**

**I am sorry I was gone. I did find your letters and I want to make one thing clear to you. I don't want some other girl, I want you. You are the type of woman I'd fight through different dimensions for. My mind may have been tossed in a blender over the years, but I know a connection when I feel one. I feel connected to you Natasha and having to live without you is simply something I'm not willing to live with.**

**Steve made his sacrifice play and you made yours, but you guys aren't the only heroes. I will find a way to rescue you, to bring you back. Steve's gone back in time to be with Peggy, but I can't handle losing you both. He is getting his happy ending and I am going to get my happy ending with you.**

**I read your letters, every single one of them. I am sorry I wasn't there for you through the five years. If I could have been there I would have. You're everything to me, you're special and kind. Sending those letters back and forth, it was the first time I felt whole and a long time.**

**Getting to actually kiss you and then losing you sucked. I looked for you on the battlefield, Clint was the only one who gave me the straight answer. Haven't we lost enough Natasha, haven't we had our lives messed with enough? I need you, and I am going to bring you back. It's our turn.**

**\- Bucky'**

\----

"You are writing to your girlfriend again?"

 

Okoye's voice broke through Bucky's mental haze. He had been writing to Natasha again, every single day since he had gotten to Wakanda. It was mostly something for him to do since he couldn't help Shuri with any of the actual technical stuff. He had attempted to, but Shuri had basically banned him from the lab. 

 

Bucky had been miffed of course, but Shuri had insisted that she be left alone to think and that he was a distraction. Bucky had relented of course, simply because he needed Shuri's brain working at its best if he was going to get Natasha back. 

 

"I am writing to her, I mean I'd rather say this stuff in person, but it's good to write it down." Bucky didn't sound totally convinced about his own words. He wasn't sure why he was writing it down, but he figured if Nat could do it for five years, he could write letters in return. 

 

Every day that passed felt like a lifetime to Bucky, he wasn't totally convinced that he could wait the five years that Nat had. He missed her far too much and sitting still had never been his strong suit. 

 

Princess Shuri gave him a sympathetic look, seeing the pain in his eyes. "We will find a way to get her back Barnes." She promised, before clearing her throat. "That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about." 

 

"Did you make a breakthrough?" Bucky asked, unable to hide his enthusiasm. He wanted to be reunited with Natasha so badly, he was willing to risk just about anything. 

 

"I am not sure if we can bring Natasha back to the future. I was talking with Thor and Nebula and they mentioned that Gamora from the past was brought back and so was Loki. I think there might be a way to draw Natasha out of the past and bring her into the present." Shuri said, her words slow and methodical. 

 

Bucky blinked, trying to comprehend it all. "How do we bring her back?"

 

"If you bring her back though, there might be unforeseen consequences." Shuri had been trying to play out the different variables. Time travel was tricky at best and there were a lot of elements that the Princess of Wakanda wasn't sure about. 

 

"I don't care about the consequences. I want her back." Bucky mumbled, knowing he probably sounded like a selfish child. "Do we bring her here, or do we go back in time?"

 

Shuri hesitated. "I could send you back in time, to around the time that she joined SHIELD with Barton. But the thing about messing with time is it is messy." Shuri knew they'd have to pick a moment that wouldn't screw with the timeline all that much. 

 

“Let’s do it then,” Bucky said giving her a nod. If this was how he was going to get Natasha back than so be it.

 

“Alright, I’ll work on it. You just stay here, I need to consult with some of the other Avengers.” Shuri said, not wanting to specifically mention Bruce because she knew how Bucky felt about the Hulk. 

 

Bucky watched her go and then picked up his notebook so he could write again. 

**  
‘Dear Natasha,**

**I think Princess Shuri has an actual plan to bring you back. I am not sure if it’s practical or if it will even work, but I am remaining hopeful. I want nothing more than to hold you in my arms again.**

**I know Bruce tried to bring you back when he held the gauntlet, I would have done the same thing. Everybody is still trying to find their way after Tony reversed the snap. I miss you so much, I really would have tried to bring you back too.**

**Maybe that is why I am so dead set on doing it now. Wakanda is still hot, but maybe when we bring you back we can spend some time here. Just hide away from the world and have some you and me time. I want to just exist in the same space as you and not worry about the next bad guy or worry about one of us being taken. I’ve lost so much time over the years, I don’t want to waste another second.**

**I want to be with you Natasha, I know it in my soul. We’ll be together again, I can feel it.**

**\- Bucky’**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update has taken so long and that's it's so short, I had to put my cat down and have been in a really bad headspace lately and unmotivated to write. Anyways at least Shuri has a plan to bring Natasha back so maybe Bucky will be reunited with his love sooner rather than later.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter. Does Bucky get Natasha back?

It had taken some figuring out, even for Shuri, and then a lot of pleading with T’challa, but Bucky was certain that things were finally on track. Now that Steve was gone, back to the past to be with Peggy, Bucky no longer had his best friend to ask for advice. He wished nothing more than to be able to ask him what he should do. 

 

So Bucky had to settle for Sam, who had been kind of reserved since Steve went away. Bucky had invited Sam to his hut in Wakanda, hoping it’d be easier to talk in person. He then explained his plan to Sam, watching the way the man’s eyes narrowed in on him. 

 

“You are just going to leave me too. I mean Nat is amazing and I want her back, but you’re ditching me too?” Sam asked, doing his best not to appear miffed, though he was, in fact quite irritated. 

 

Bucky arched a brow. “You don’t even like me half the time.” 

 

Sam scoffed and rolled his eyes. “It’s the principle of the thing. Bros don’t leave bros, not even for h-”

 

“I wouldn’t finish that statement if I were you,” Bucky warned cutting him off. 

 

“I was going to say, not even for heroic women like Natasha,” Sam grumbled, muttering under his breath about how Bucky had no faith in him. “Tell me your stupid plan.”

 

“Hey, it isn’t stupid. Shuri and I spent a lot of time thinking about what happens if I go back in the past, but what if we bring a past version of Natasha here?” Bucky studied Sam’s expression, hoping that Sam could help. 

 

Sam snorted and just shook his head. “You’re crazy, but if you can do this. What version are you bringing back? The girl who started writing you letters? The crazy assassin lady who worked for Shield, or are you going to bring back pre-SHIELD Nat?” 

 

“There are just so many options.” Bucky deadpanned, before taking a deep breath. “My best bet would be trying to bring her at the start of writing the letters. She won’t believe it’s me at first but I have a plan.” 

 

“Not going to lie, I am, actually surprised you are capable of making plans. I feel like most of the time, you and Steve run headfirst into a situation without thinking it through.” Sam would never admit it but he had grown fond of Bucky, and he was glad that his friend wasn’t leaving him forever. It was strange to think of Bucky as a friend and not just casual work acquaintance.

 

Bucky stared for a long time at Sam, before extending a hand to him. "So you'll help me?" 

 

Sam grimaced but took Bucky's hand and squeezed it. "Somebody has too. I'll help you bring Nat back, but if she beats you up, that's on you." 

 

Bucky smiled and shrugged. "It wouldn't be the first time, wouldn't be the last."

\---

**'Dear Nat,**

**I know you would find this strange, time travel and me coming back to get you. I just want to be with you again. Perhaps that is selfish, but a world without you just feels too bleak. I've compiled all of our letters into a folder. I mean to give it to your past self, I even included a few pictures.**

**I don't know what the future holds. All I do know is that if these letters from Wakanda can prove anything, it's that I need you. You make me a better person, you inspire me to work through all the trauma that has happened and to come out the other side better for it.**

**There is a piece of that's concerned you won't believe me. I mean I'd understand if you don't want to come back with me. I just hope that you do come back. I miss you so much Nat, I miss our conversations. I just miss you**

**\- Bucky.'**

  
\----

Going back in time was weird, even for Bucky. Having been the man out of time with Steve, it felt so weird. Even to go back as far as almost seven years. His relationship development with Natasha had taken almost a year and a half of them writing letters, then five years of being dusted due to the snap, and then it had been almost five months since Natasha had been gone. Seven years had felt like nothing to Bucky because in actuality five of those years had felt like nothing. 

 

But now that time was passing without Natasha, he felt painfully empty. He could only imagine what she had been going through, during their time apart. 

 

When the time machine that Shuri had finished building spat him out, it took Bucky a minute to process things. Thanks to some help from Sam, they had known where exactly Natasha would be. Bucky found himself right outside of their safe house, through the window he could see Natasha messing around and cleaning some dishes. 

 

Bucky was just intending to sneak in and leave the book of letters on her bed. He figured she’d be able to read them and then if she wanted to meet with him, he’d leave her a location. As much as he wanted to bring her into the future with him, he couldn’t force that decision on her. At the end of the day, it would be Natasha’s choice. 

 

Sneaking past three members of the Avengers was hard enough, but Bucky thought he had done a decent enough job. He had just laid the book of letters on Natasha's bed when he turned around to find himself staring right down the barrel of a gun. 

 

"What are you doing in my room Barnes?" Natasha asked, cocking the gun slowly. "We just left you in Wakanda not that long ago."

 

Bucky slowly raised his hands to show that he meant no harm. "If you could just read the letters, it would save me a lot of explaining. You aren't likely to believe me if I just tell you."

 

Natasha pressed the barrel of the gun against his chest. "Why don't you read the letters to me." The redhead suggested, clearly mistrustful of Bucky. 

 

It was almost painful for Bucky to see the look in her eyes. All he wanted to do was throw his arms around her and kiss her, but he knew that this version of Natasha would probably kill him without a second thought. 

 

"Okay, okay. I am going to grab the letters." Bucky said moving slowly, deciding to read them to her. "This is what the first one you wrote to me says.

 

'Dear Barnes, 

I don’t know why I am writing this. Perhaps, I’m writing it because I’m bored and out to try my hand at Steve’s method for cleansing my soul. He says writing my thoughts out will help, but I am not sure how safe my thoughts are. My inner thoughts would scare most people, though I doubt you scare easily. 

We have met before, did you know that? You probably don’t remember it, and I guess it isn’t important in the end. But I have the scars to prove it, you’ve shot me a couple of times. I suppose people like you and me are always on a collision course, in our line of work. Not like we were ever given much of a choice were we?

Steve’s worried about you, though he acts like he isn’t. He wants to protect you, he tries to protect everybody. It would be noble if it wasn’t so irritating to the people trying to protect him. I don’t know where you are, it’s for the best you do not share that info. I do hope this letter finds you well. 

\- Natasha’"

 

Natasha stared at him like he had grown a second head. "You're saying I wrote that to you?" She asked. 

 

Bucky nodded and slowly turned the look to her so that she could read it and see for herself. "That is your handwriting." 

 

With a force that surprised them both, Natasha lashed out and pistol-whipped him with the gun. Bucky dropped to the floor and Natasha slowly picked up the book. She stared at it for a long time, before sighing. "Well, this certainly complicates things." 

\----

Natasha stared at the tied up Bucky Barnes, unsure if she should just call Steve or if she should investigate Bucky’s claims. Steve had been on her about writing to Bucky, but she hadn’t done so yet. According to the book he had dropped, apparently, she had already sent him letters. 

 

She was thoroughly confused as the first letter was actually dated that day. She didn’t know what to make of it. Natasha made sure that Bucky wouldn’t be able to break out of the ropes she had tied him with, and then sat down to read it. 

 

It was almost like reading a romance novel, seeing everything from a distance. She could tell the handwriting was her own, and the things she had told Bucky in the letters, she hadn’t shared with anybody else. 

 

Their love story as it progressed seemed to get more intense, and Natasha realized that if what he said was true, then they had fallen in love. When it got toward the end and she read about the snap, something broke inside of Natasha. 

 

Now that she was partially convinced everything the letters said was real, it broke her heart to know that she didn’t get the happy ending. According to the letters, something was always keeping them apart. Whether it was Bucky being snapped away or Natasha giving her life for everybody else's. 

 

Setting the book down and wiping away the tears that she didn’t even realize she had shed, Natasha stood up. She walked over and lightly slapped Bucky’s cheek a few times until the soldier came too. 

 

“We fell in love?” 

 

Bucky was startled at the question, trying to move towards her only to find himself tied down. He tried to fight against the ropes, but then seemed to deflate and give up. “I can’t speak for your feelings Nat, but I fell in love with you. I fell hard.” 

 

Natasha wasn’t sure how to process everything. It was easy to believe in some ways because she had got aliens and met literal gods, so time travel wasn’t that far off. Still, however, she didn’t know if she could trust her feelings. 

 

She studied Bucky, the curve of his jaw, the way his hair fell into his eyes. She so desperately wanted to remember everything in his letters. 

 

“These letters from Wakanda, they’re what brought us together?” Natasha asked, her gaze searching. 

 

Bucky nodded slowly. “Yeah, the more we wrote to each other, the deeper and harder I fell. You made me feel happy, I want to be happy with you.” 

 

“What do you want me to do?” Natasha wasn’t sure what he was expecting by coming back all this way. She no longer felt he was a threat, so she knelt before him and untied him. 

 

Bucky was silent as she freed him. “I want you to come to the future with me. I don’t want to be without you.” 

 

“If I go back to the future with you, won’t that delete my sacrifice?” Natasha didn’t quite understand how the whole time travel thing worked. 

 

“I don’t know if it will work, but it’s worth a try. I used to tell Steve that I was with him until the end of the line. The same goes for you Nat, I am with you. If I have to come back and visit you in the past or send letters into the past to be with you then so be it. I want us.” Bucky pleaded, he didn’t care what it took. Being apart from Natasha was miserable enough, finally being able to see her all he wanted to do was embrace her. 

 

Natasha hesitated and then glanced at the book of letters again. “Okay, I’ll go with you. It’s crazy but I’m Russian and I’m sure I’ve witnessed crazier things.” 

 

Bucky felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulder. “We can take things slowly. I’ll write letters to you every day.” 

 

A hint of a smile crossed Natasha’s features. “Well, that is one way to start.” 

 

Bucky chuckled. “Yeah, but it worked last time.” He pointed out. 

 

Natasha rolled her eyes. “I’m starting to question how I fell for you.” She deadpanned. 

 

Bucky shrugged his shoulders. “Let’s just say slowly, the first step was getting attached.” 

 

The assassin groaned. “I am regretting this already.” She muttered, but there was no real bite in her voice as she reached for Bucky’s hand. "Take me to the future soldier boy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everybody who read, it meant so much to me. Thank you for every kudo, comment and subscription, be on the look out for my next stories.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoy this story, I decided to branch out a little bit from my normal fanfiction and give this a shot. It's been on my mind for a while. I got a good response to my last Bucky/Natasha drabble, so I thought I might go for a longer story.


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